Scientist have exposed this innocent creature to cosmic radiation. Am I the only one who has read the Fantastic Four? It's great that this little Tardigrada can survive a bombardment of cosmic rays in the vacuum of space, but I'm adding this to the list of things scientist shouldn't have done. It's always safest to assume fantastical horror until proven otherwise.
Anyone who has ever watched insects closely, knows the workings of their minds are a miracle of hyper modern robotics. If you don't believe me I suggest studying my new favorite site:
JapaneseBugFights.com
It delivers all it promises with inter species insect battles to the death. And proves that robots have but one purpose; to follow through with their programming to the letter. And that programming must ultimately serve man. A robot that doesn't serve man in some way is malfunctioning.
So I wanted to share some techniques I learned on the Internet for dealing with rebellious robots.
How to Kill Fruit Flies
All you need to become the Heinrich Himmler of your banana bowl is a jar with half apple cider vinegar, half water, and a dollop of dish soap. More tips at WikiHow. This worked great for me.
How to Kill Cockroaches
I wish I'd never had to google this. But I have and I did. And the good news is that once again drowning seems to be the best bet. I had already perfected the stun and crush method using a can of Raid like a policeman's MagLite. It works a little too well, I have found twitching roaches I did not spray. I worry about the ones who might walk off a light dose, ready to spread their success story to another generation.
No, better to once again manipulate their programming, to combine the genius of tools and that of weapons, to make a trap. Our success as a species has always depended more on our tools and our traps then our weapons. Besides the Raid has some killer blowback, short and long term. The trap is still empty, maybe I'll start twittering it's results.
Will well-loved, former stutterer, Joe Biden be able to slip out brutal, cycle grabbing attack lines which neither Obama or Biden himself will have to take credit for? Bush has used this before, 'I didn't say that I just spoke those words.' Or are Biden's day's of slipping over. Everyone at this convention seems like they've lived and learned a thousand years worth since we last saw them. Everyone's been shining and doing exactly what they need to do.
Michelle Obama's Speech
Hilary Clinton's Speech (MUST LISTEN)
Seems like John McCain's camp has watched the Omega Code, maybe you should too. It's going to be required reading for all of tomorrow's jokes.
[Watch the Omega Code]
"And he has anointed himself, ready to carry the burden of the worm."
